Some days one simply wishes for a chuckle and a little…history ;)

Some days one simply wishes for a chuckle and a little…history ;)

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Now that Spring is upon us, with Summer not far behind, I find myself hopelessly seeking the perfect Summer frock. How sad that I am unable to raid Emma’s wonderful wardrobe. 

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“Then followed that beautiful season… Summer….
Filled was the air with a dreamy and magical light; and the landscape
Lay as if new created in all the freshness of childhood.”
— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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A Lady’s Emergency Kit! A Lady is never to leave the house without her emergency kit. Goodness knows what will happen when traveling these days, without a lady’s maid present.  Contents: Needle and thread (You can never be sure when your dress will fall apart) A safety pin (There will be times when you or an unprepared acquaintance will need to be imprisoned in your frock) Band aids (Of course these are not for the lady’s own use but a Lady thinks of others who are of a clumsy disposition)  A hair tie ( A rubber band will suffice in case hair ties are not available) A packet of facial tissues (This does not need an explanation, a lady must know never to be without) A nail fail (A Lady will always be judged by the way she presents herself and a broken nail will simply not do!) Floss (Dare I say it, but there will be times when a lady consumes something that will lodge itself in the most inappropriate places) A pair of tweezers  Mints (One is never to know when they may meet a gentleman with a home and of means)  And of course, a chocolate bar (By far the most important and will often need to be replaced.)

A Lady’s Emergency Kit! A Lady is never to leave the house without her emergency kit. Goodness knows what will happen when traveling these days, without a lady’s maid present. 

Contents:

Needle and thread (You can never be sure when your dress will fall apart)

A safety pin (There will be times when you or an unprepared acquaintance will need to be imprisoned in your frock)

Band aids (Of course these are not for the lady’s own use but a Lady thinks of others who are of a clumsy disposition) 

A hair tie ( A rubber band will suffice in case hair ties are not available)

A packet of facial tissues (This does not need an explanation, a lady must know never to be without)

A nail fail (A Lady will always be judged by the way she presents herself and a broken nail will simply not do!)

Floss (Dare I say it, but there will be times when a lady consumes something that will lodge itself in the most inappropriate places)

A pair of tweezers 

Mints (One is never to know when they may meet a gentleman with a home and of means) 

And of course, a chocolate bar (By far the most important and will often need to be replaced.)

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A silly man, a pompous man, an altogether insufferable man! Yet somehow Mr. Collins’ respect for his betters makes him an excellent addition to any dinner party, hopefully one attended by the Dowager Countess of Grantham. ;)

A silly man, a pompous man, an altogether insufferable man! Yet somehow Mr. Collins’ respect for his betters makes him an excellent addition to any dinner party, hopefully one attended by the Dowager Countess of Grantham. ;)

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“A Lady listens, comprehends and then replies.”
— Anon

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A Lady

A beautiful woman sat across from me today

Her heart was full and showed on her face

Her smile was rich and full of life

I admired her presence and sense of self

She gave me hope, a bit of shame

I loathed my being, my useless self

She saw the world through her fingertips

That few with sight dare look upon

She embraced her life and asked not for pity

She could not take steps

But strides in the face of adversity

She said very little, yet conveyed volumes at length

She was Amazing

A true Da Vinci

(No better work of Art

Than humanity)

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“To be a woman is to be resilient, to be remain hopeful when all others have given up hope, to be the one who stands in between the wicked and the innocent, to be the one who inspires those around her to greatness, to be the one who is afraid yet still willing to stand up against injustice. To be a woman is more than being female.”
— Anon

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“PHENOMENAL WOMAN”—Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s sizeBut when I start to tell them,They think I’m telling lies.I say,It’s in the reach of my armsThe span of my hips,The stride of my step,The curl of my lips.I’m a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That’s me.I walk into a roomJust as cool as you please,And to a man,The fellows stand orFall down on their knees.Then they swarm around me,A hive of honey bees.I say,It’s the fire in my eyes,And the flash of my teeth,The swing in my waist,And the joy in my feet.I’m a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That’s me.Men themselves have wonderedWhat they see in me.They try so muchBut they can’t touchMy inner mystery.When I try to show themThey say they still can’t see.I say,It’s in the arch of my back,The sun of my smile,The ride of my breasts,The grace of my style.I’m a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That’s me.Now you understandJust why my head’s not bowed.I don’t shout or jump aboutOr have to talk real loud.When you see me passingIt ought to make you proud.I say,It’s in the click of my heels,The bend of my hair,the palm of my hand,The need of my care,’Cause I’m a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That’s me.”
— Maya Angelou 

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The Fresh Prince of Downton Abbey

Absolutely hilarious!

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